He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
