he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
