1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
