It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I did not marry a roomba.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
