i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
