don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize