Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You made out with two different species that night
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
