All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
