it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
