btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
