Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
sex in a hospital.. check
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
