so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I cut my penus on the lid.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
