found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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