You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
