I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
