I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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