My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
