Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
