I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
