she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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