I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
