I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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