cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Randomize
