official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize