It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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