Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
