Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
