I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
