btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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