Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize