dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize