i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if only i could text you this smell
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
