Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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