My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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