so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
