i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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