Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
