I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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