Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
it's like iHOP with fire
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
