Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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