Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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