ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
