We got so high we made milksteak
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
