Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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