I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
