Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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