sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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