My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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