why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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