If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
