Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize