I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
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