i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no you cant smoke seaweed
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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