She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
