would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
