come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
