Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
