pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
