Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
