Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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