it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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