You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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