What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
