Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
