Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
